Don’t facebook me…I’m not there…


I won’t participate in the 7 day spousal challenge, or best Dad challenge, or most fantastic kid challenge. I won’t update my status to show my support for cancer, suicide, or the many other causes, regardless if they are close to my heart.  Chances are if we are close enough friends I would have sent you a birthday card in the mail, and I refrain from posting my religious and political views publicly as I don’t think its anyone’s business. I have over the past few years tried to not vent or air my dirty laundry (a mistake I believe we all make as facebook “newbies”) In truth I don’t log on much anymore to facebook as it has become an endless scrolling wall of sadness and hate, with only  the occasional worthwhile post from an old friend or family member that I genuinely care about and am happy to see. It is however still a great resource for getting news out amongst family and friends, and for reconnecting people, they way i believe it was originally designed for. But nowadays my news feed has become clogged with so much ugliness that I can’t bare to even waste my time to endure looking through it. Then there is the envy you feel over peoples vacations, lifestyles, and relationships that slowly  chip away at your self esteem, making you feel that your life is unequal. You compare them with your marriage, your kids, your home, your cars, your job, your vacation or lack of…. not realizing that most people only  expose about 5% of their “real”  life on social media. Most of it is staged and glamorized and some people actually put up totally fake pictures and posts altogether. In the world of facebook, everything it is not always what it seems and we must remember this.

Despite my complaints, I don’t want to delete my account as in all honesty it is more like a handy virtual address book of all my contacts that are not in my actual contacts. When I need to reach out to my second cousin Jenny who lives on that tiny Island off the coast of Italy, I literally can instantly reach her with a facebook message….just like that! But if you are really my friend, and you want to talk to me, please don’t  try and reach me on social media. I cringe when I hear someone say to me “ but I facebooked you!” Urg!!!!  Firstly I prefer instagram to put up pics, and I voice my opinion and vent more on my blog if I am going to do it anywhere, I use twitter, but I have a telephone and email for everything else. Facebook is literally a place where I keep those 300+ “friends” and family contact details in a handy place because I haven’t been able to figure out how to import them into my computer address book yet! Okay…vent over….


Author: nicolagraham84

British by birth, wife, mother of two living in So. Cal. Loves to write poetry, and Don't Look Back her first adult romance is out now.

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